San Diego High Conflict Diversion Parenting Class 2008

Finding Balance out of Chaos, Changing for the Children

PARENTING CLASS FLYER

ONLINE CLASS REGISTRATION FORM

Studies show that twenty five to thirty percent of divorces can be referred to as “High Conflict”. Out of this group, as many as seventy percent of those divorcing have either a substance abuse problem or a personality disorder, (Narcissistic, Anti-Social, or Borderline Personality Disorder, for example) or other psychiatric problems such as Bipolar Disorder.

Our experience has shown us that one of the parents in a High Conflict divorce frequently has no intention of attending a conflict diversion program even if ordered by the court, and that if they do attend class, will do little to integrate the concepts of the class.

Our High Conflict Diversion Program requires that only one parent understand and implement the strategies we teach. Even with changes incorporated by one parent, theconflict can be stopped. It should be noted that when substance abuse, personality disorders or other issues of this nature (such as a spouse who can’t or won’t “disconnect”) are involved, special and more individualized strategies are required. These are all incorporated into the curriculum and a major focus of the High Conflict Diversion Program.

THE GOAL

The goal of our High Conflict Diversion Program is to work with attorneys and counselors at the beginning of the divorce process (when possible), even prior to papers being filed, in order to identify the potential for High Conflict. Even if a parent (or parents) start the High Conflict Diversion Program after a High Conflict scenario has begun, strategies for resolution frequently succeed in shifting the dynamic away from conflict continuation.

The concepts and strategies we use are as follows:

1. By starting early in the divorce process we can look out for potential “red flags” surrounding certain behaviors that will identify substance abuse issues, and other indicators that suggest that a High Conflict scenario may be present.

2. By working with attorneys in the early stages of potentially High Conflict divorces, we will increase the probability of obtaining a settlement agreement before the proceedings collapse.

3. We teach communication skills and help our students to identify and then responsibly avoid “triggers” that lead to conflict. These skills are not only helpful during the divorce and parenting, but are also highly useful in maintaining a better relationship with a new partner or spouse. These communication skills also help the attorney-client communication stay clear and on track.

4. By helping students think “outside the box”, we help empower them to rely on their own inner resources, (as opposed to the court system), to remedy their situation.

5. We help identify, both directly and indirectly, the belief patterns, triggers, coping mechanisms and survival strategies that prevent parents from accessing their capacity to disengage from a High Conflict divorce and move on with their lives.

6. We teach centering and relaxation techniques to help students to calm down prior to, during, and after contact with a non-cooperative ex-spouse, depositions, meetings with attorneys, court appearances, and things of this nature.